


Let me explain

by Nothesc



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, based on an ask I got on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 01:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10911897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nothesc/pseuds/Nothesc
Summary: Hi! I got this ask on tumblr and decided to give it a try:"Pleaaaaaase write a fanfic about this: Sana saw Noora and Yousef kissing BUT, i was only slown down to SANA, when actually was a super quick kiss that yousef pulled away and sees that sana caught them kissing!!!!!"I changed it a little bit though, so Yousef did kiss Noora back but he stopped it because he realized he couldn't do it.





	Let me explain

**Author's Note:**

> So like I've said, I wrote this based on an ask I got on tumblr
> 
> I wrote this really quick so I don’t know if you’ll like it.
> 
> It’s the first fic I write since de debacle from Friday so I’m sorry if this seems too dramatic but I have lots of feelings.
> 
> I also want to say that first of all I’m not defending Yousef’s behavior ‘cause we don’t really know yet what happened, but I tried to give him a reason to act the way he did so the fic would make sense, and second of all, I’m not trying to demonize Noora in any way, I’m just trying again, to give sense to the fic and for that I have to imagine what might have happened.
> 
> So I leave you with it and I hope you like it

What was he doing? What was he thinking? One moment he was following Sana outside the building to stop the fight between his friends and Even’s friends and the next moment he was standing there kissing a girl he barely knew. And not any girl, Sana’s best friend. What had led him to that exact moment? He knew it very well. Confusion, pain, disappointment. He had stopped Noora at first but after what she said and mixed with all the thoughts he already had in his head, he found himself kissing her back. It didn’t mean that he was enjoying it, though. He felt like he wasn’t in his own body, he was just following Noora’s lead, trying to forget about all the things he had in his head, well, not things, but people, specifically one person. One person that wouldn’t leave his mind, one person that owned his heart and his head, one person he couldn’t give up on, not yet.

The kissed ended as fast as it had started. Yousef took a step back and wiped away the lipstick from his mouth. Noora approached him again and tried to kiss him but he stopped her before she had a chance.

 

“ ** _I’m sorry, I can’t. I can’t do this”_** Yousef said shaking his head.

“ ** _What…?”_** Noora started, but something caught her attention.

 

She looked to her left and Yousef followed her gaze. They both saw Sana standing there, looking at them, mouth slightly opened in disbelief, eyebrows frowned, red eyes, and one single tear rolling down her face. Yousef felt like the world was crashing down on him when he saw her. His chest ached and his stomached sank. He took a step towards Sana, not sure of what to say but she quickly wiped away the tear from her face and started to walk towards the exit, pushing everybody out of her way and not caring about the nasty looks and comments she was getting.

She needed to get out of there, she needed air, she needed to get home and lay on her bed and try to forget about everything. But of course, it wasn’t going to be that easy. She hadn’t been walking for more than 7 seconds when she heard him, he was calling her name. She walked faster but he didn’t give up, she could hear his steps approaching her, his voice desperately telling her to stop.

She felt his hand on her shoulder making her stop.  He walked around her and stood in front of her, blocking her way.

He was panting, his hair all over the place, his cheeks slightly bright from the effort and his eyes red like he was trying to hold back the tears.

Sana felt like it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair that he looked like was suffering when he had been kissing her best friend while she had been trying to stop a fight, listening how her friends betrayed her and having her heart broken all at the same time.

 

**_“Sana please, let me explain”_** he said. He sounded desperate.

 

He still had his hand on Sana’s shoulder. She felt like it was burning, she needed him to stop touching her, it hurt so much. He must’ve had noticed ‘cause he removed his hand from her shoulder and took a step back giving her space to breath.

 

**_“Please, there’s an explanation, please hear me out”_** he repeated.

**_“You don’t have to explain  anything to me, Yousef”_** she said acting (and failing) like she didn’t care at all **_“I get it, it’s a party, Noora’s gorgeous, she’s interested in you and you’re interested in her, it was doomed to happen. I just wish you wouldn’t have used me to get to her, or at least that you would’ve told me”_**

**_“It wasn’t like that. I swear it wasn’t like that. Please let me explain”_ **

**_“I told you, you don’t owe me an explanation”_** Sana said wishing he would just let her go. She didn’t need to hear how it had felt to kiss Noora.

“ ** _But I want to explain it you. Please hear me out. Please”_**

When Sana didn’t talk he understood it as a signal to keep going.

**_“Why was Even here? Did you invite him? You know him better than I thought, right?”_ **

**_“That’s your explanation? Asking me about my friends?”_ **

**_“No, that’s not my explanation, I just need to know. Please”_ **

She took a deep breath trying to find the correct words.

**_“Even goes to Nissen now. His boyfriend, Isak, is my biology partner and my friend. So yes, I know Even, he’s my friend”_ **

**_“That’s why you invited us here, then? So we could all work things out?”_ **

**_“Look, Yousef, I’m not going to stand here listening how you accuse me of whatever you’re accusing me of”_ **

**_“Okay, I’m sorry…I’m sorry I just…Elias told me that you wanted me to come. And I was so excited to see you so when I saw Even here and I saw you I realized that you didn’t want us to come to hang out but to try to solve things between Even and us. I was so confused and disappointed and…”_ **

**_“It wasn’t the only reason”_** she interrupted him

“ ** _Wasn’t it?”_** he said

“ ** _No it wasn’t. But yes I did want you to sort things out. Excuse me for being so naïve to even think that this would work. I was only trying to help and instead of that everybody ended up fighting each other”_** she said, then she added bitterly ** _“well, not everybody, right Yousef? You weren’t there. You left me in the middle of a fight between my brother and my friends, between your friends and Even, so you could stay inside with Noora. You know what, I changed my mind, you do owe me an explanation. Why did you leave your friends alone? Why did you leave me alone?”_** she was getting angrier with every word

“ ** _I know, I know and I’m sorry. I screwed up. I was following you, I swear I was but then Noora stopped me and she was really upset and…do you really think that I’m immature and that I only use girls?”_**

**_“What?”_** she asked confused “ ** _Where is that coming from?”_**

He passed a hand through his hair trying to focus.

**_“I was following you outside, like I said and Noora stopped me. She was upset and tried to kiss me but I didn’t let her. Then she told me that she didn’t care that I was immature or that I only used girls. She also told me that she wasn’t looking for a commitment so I didn’t have to worry about the whole muslims can only be with muslims thing. I asked what was she talking about and she told me that that was what you told her. Is that what you really think of me?”_ **

**_“Of course not!”_** she almost yelled, not being able to believe what she was hearing “ ** _I said those things a lot time ago and I didn’t mean it. I only said those things because…”_**

She stopped herself before she could continue. She knew exactly why she had said those things, but she wasn’t planning on telling him anytime soon, not after what had happened.

“ ** _Because?”_** of course, he wasn’t going to let it go that easily

“ ** _It doesn’t matter”_**

**_“But it does, it matters Sana. ‘Cause after the Even thing and after hearing those things I was devastated and confused and I felt like it had been all my head, everything between us. I felt betrayed and like it wasn’t worth the hassle, that we would never get a chance”_ **

**_“Well, if you feel like that, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you kissing her now? Why did you stop?”_ **

**_“Because I like you!!”_** he blurted out, louder than he wanted to.

She widened her eyes and opened slightly her mouth in shock.

**_“I like you Sana. I know I screwed up, I shouldn’t have kissed Noora, I was a mess. But  I stopped it. I stopped it ‘cause I couldn’t bring myself to kiss her, to feel something. All I could think about while kissing her was you. All I saw in my head while kissing her was you. You surrounded by bluebells, you beating my ass at basketball, you not being able to peel a single carrot, you, you, you. So I stopped it, ‘cause even if I don’t have a chance with you, I can’t forget you, not that easily, I can’t give up on you, not yet.”_ **

She took a moment to process everything that he had said.

“ ** _Please Sana say something”_**

**_“I only told those things to Noora ‘cause she was asking about you. It seemed like she liked you and I didn’t want her to like you”_** she said without even thinking. It just felt like it was her turn to be sincere

**_“Why didn’t you want her to like me?”_ **

**_“Do you really need to ask?”_ **

**_“Sana…”_** he took a step closer to her but she backed off

**_“No Yousef, I understand why you did what you did, I really do. I’ve done things myself that I’m not proud of but how could we ever work? All we do is hurt each other. We don’t talk to each other. When things get difficult we react and we don’t think about the consequences. We just assume the worst and isolate ourselves. How could we ever make this work if we’re like this?”_ **

**_“We’ll get better. We’ll talk things out, we’ll go to each other first when something happens. We’ll be there for each other and we will trust each other. We can make this work Sana, I know we can”_ **

By the time he finished the sentence she was already crying again. Yousef extended his hand slowly. He looked at Sana, quietly asking for her permission to touch her. She nodded slightly allowing him to continue. He rested his hand on her face and gently wiped a tear away. Sana closed her eyes and leaned into the touch.

**_“This won’t work”_** she whispered

**_“We don’t know that. I believe in us. You just have to believe too”_ **

She inhaled profoundly and took a step back, feeling cold when his hand was no longer touching her. Yousef placed his hand by his side again and took a tiny step back to give her the space she clearly needed.

**_“It’s getting late, I should get home”_** she finally said

He felt his chest tightening, it seemed like she had made her decision. He nodded respecting it as much as it hurt and looked at his feet. He only looked up when he felt her approaching him.

“ ** _Will you walk me home?”_ ** She said smiling shyly.

That smile brought the hope back to his heart. She wasn’t pushing him away, she was giving him a chance, one last chance, one tiny step forwards for us, but it was more than enough.

“ ** _Always”_**

**Author's Note:**

> So this is it.
> 
> It ended up being longer than I planned but once I started writing I couldn’t stop
> 
> I really hope you’ve liked it
> 
> I left it with an opened ending ‘cause I think that a conversation is not going to solve everything, there’d be a lot of work to do. But, it’s a start.
> 
> Again I’m sorry if this seems out of character or too dramatic or if you feel that I’m either justifying Yousef or demonizing Noora, I just wanted this to make sense with the prompt.
> 
> I really hope you liked it, and that somehow helps you to get through the pain that Julie has caused us.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!


End file.
